Gratitude: Thanksgiving

Recently, I attended a joint birthday party of two friends where the centerpiece was not ice cream or cake, but a Tambara. Now, a Tambara is not food, though to me it sounds like an exotic dish, like Tiropita, or Moussaka. But according to Ish, one of the celebrators, a Tambara is an indigenous altar, much like the mythical world tree that connects the three worlds: the upper world, middle world and lower world.

It was part of the gratitude ritual that the celebrators wanted to do so that they could give thanks for all the blessings they have received so far, and show openness for more gifts. Much like an extended version of the blowing of candles and making a wish that we usually do on birthdays.

The ritual took place in the garden where the bamboo Tambara stood, adorned with ilang-ilang, and draped with a  red cloth from the mountain province. At its foot sat a bulol woodcarving, itself festooned with flowers and flanked by baskets laden with rambutan, lanzones and bananas.

Under the orange rays of the setting sun, we gathered around the Tambara. Both celebrators, Ish and Rem, faced the Tambara, heads bowed in silent prayer, saying their thanks for blessings received and strength that helped them overcome challenges in the past. At the same time, they opened their hearts to what the future will bring. We formed an arc around them, holding lighted candles. Then one by one, we shared with the group our wishes for the two birthday boys. I don’t know about the others, but I felt like one of the good fairies in the Sleeping Beauty Fairytale. Afterwards, we went back in to the house and had cake, cupcakes, pasta, pastries, fruit  and the usual trimmings of a birthday party.

I think that this is a very nice way of celebrating one’s birthday, to really ritualize  gratitude for the gift of life and what it brings.

Today, Americans are celebrating Thanksgiving. We know that this is an even bigger Holiday for them than Christmas. I recall that when I was doing graduate studies in the US, my host family (a very young family- a doctor, his wife and and their toddler)  went out of their way to have Thanksgiving Dinner complete with Turkey for me. The wife's mother even flew in from New York to help. Thank you so much, dear Durnings. I can't find the picture of my first Thanksgiving Turkey, but it looked like this:

Photo from Greenaislegrocer

The Americans have hit on a very good idea of ritualizing gratitude. I am guessing that it is helping them get over the Financial Crisis of 2008 whose aftershocks are still being felt, as well as other catastrophes like Hurricane Katrina and Storm Sandy. Of course, gratitude alone will not solve everything, nor is it a substitute for hard work. But being grateful does put us in a better mood or frame of mind to do the needful.

Harvard Professor Shawn Achor said that being grateful helps people become happier. Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology shares this belief. And of course, my very own Mother subscribes to this. When I used to go to her with problems, she would tell me to count my blessings. It is not always easy to do so in the face of challenges, but I learned that making the effort is a good first step. In recent years, I had taken to writing a gratitude journal. Sometimes I skip when I am too busy, stressed or tired. But the journal does help. Even just looking at past entries makes me feel good.

We Filipinos have a lot to be thankful for this year. The country’s economic performance tops the list. The Philippines is now among the best performing emerging markets. Our Gross International Reserves are at an all time high, and so is our stock market. Interest on Government borrowings have been reduced, so this means our great- great grandchildren will not owe as much! Ha-ha. And remember, next year is an election year, and we have a chance to vote deserving candidates into office. Meaning those who will truly serve the country and not just appear to be doing so.

On a personal note, I am grateful for a loving family, a wonderful daughter, and new “glasses” with which to see the world and discover rainbows even after a storm. Sometimes, the glasses do become foggy, and I can’t always see the blessings as they come. But what can I say? Such is life, and as long as I keep on looking, I am sure the rainbows will turn up.

Just want to share  what I call the turkey's revenge from Norman Rockwell

From Saturday Evening Post by Norman Rockwell

How about you, what are you grateful for?

May we always see life’s rainbows.